TOEFL 1

this is traning. please mark and correct!!

Q. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All studentsshould be required to study art and music in secondary school. Usespecific reasons to support your answer.


Some peaple say that students in secondary school should not be required to study art and music for concentrating on some region. However, I disagree with this opinion for the following reasons.
First, art and music is very basic part of culture. If they learn about art and music, they can exchange with others through talk about such topics. I think that their lives will bocome more fruitful.
Second, there is no reason for omit such subjents from curriculum. Students should not concentrate on some propers but study wide range of subjects because wide knowledge can make progresses. For example, John. M. Keyens, the famous economist, was majored in philosophy of science in his college, and he said knowledge gained in study of philosophy supported the establishmentof the economic theory. Therefore, I claim that learning widely is important.
What subjects are essential for children is very difficult problem. I think it is most important to consider widening their possibility when dealing such problem. In conclusion, I agree the opinion that all students should beentitled to study art and music.